Cheap Tricks: Missing Ear by Chris Reynolds...

Having been voted the world’s greatest stone skimmer Charlie was on a high. Every stone he touched turned to gold. He could not be stopped at the recent stone skimming championships. After winning the title a party was thrown. Screams were heard from an outside tent where Charlie was. As everyone approached they saw that his faced was covered in blood. His left ear had been robbed. His life was ruined. How could he maintain his balance with only one...

Cheap Tricks: Coming up short...

I had been there before, on some drunken Tuesday, a monstrous evening of cheap Aldi wine and itchy denim. But this time…this time it was different. My hand was bigger, more expressive, an artist’s hand. I clutched, I kneaded, I choked it for all it was worth but it was still, well, gone. I was finally, undoubtedly, categorically dickless. Where’d I put the bloody...

Fork

I sat at a café, smoking; A light grey pinstripe suit Watched his wife get up and go; We both reached at once – I, for the saucer He with the sparkle. I watched the item sail In an ‘n’, straight from the hip – Complete with a wrist-twist, Eyes welded to the jack-in-the-box door: It was a fork. And it had been in his hand, In his pocket. R.H.; G.D.; M.K.; J.V.; A.C.; D.N.            ...

Monologue: Au Laboureur...

In the bar we chose the barmaid was drunk, high or possibly retarded. She was dancing or rather trotting grotesquely behind the bar. I was afraid of her. She might have been reasonably pretty once, or twice, but no longer. When I approached and found a niche at the far end of the bar I had to look at the woman so as to ask her for two Duvels but she was walking backwards and shaking her dyed blonde locks. I imagined it may have been a moonwalk once, or twice. It digusted me. I fixed my face in a defensive smile and prepared for the moment when she’d look at me, when her eyes would shift, much like a cannon is turned upon a newly-discovered foe on a hill opposite the castle. I’d need that smile to say that I didn’t detest her, which I didn’t – though she was revolting. But I feared my mask might betray me and fall off the stilts on which it was standing, trying to perform for me the role of a happy-go-lucky punter who just wants a drink and a laugh and prefers drunk, overly-friendly barmaids. The cannon turned and faced me and I half-expected a salvo of metal sphere. Instead, she made a strange face, as if an invisible troll had grabbed her ear and twisted it, turning her head to one side. It took a second or two before I knew it meant she wanted my order. I told her and she reached for the money and shook it like more notes might fall from it. It was just a prop in the performance. I wondered who it was she was most interested in impressing: “Fun-loving, still-cool, older woman seeks younger, desperate, naive man...

Competition: Imagination Breakdown...

For our first ever Imagination Breakdown competition we are calling on all our readers to come up with a name for a Band keeping the following criteria in mind: It has to be suitable for an alternative rock group. The band name must not be already taken. (Google it if you’re not sure) You can enter as often as you like. The closing date is Friday 26th of April. All entries to be submitted to cloudofthink@gmail.com clearly marking Imagination Breakdown competition in the subject field. If your band name is chosen you WIN any album of your choice. (CD or iTunes download)...

Monologue: Waffle Shop in Bruxelles...

We got a proper coffee at a waffle shop close to the Mannequin Pis. We sat at the window, at a counter-top, and I saw an old guy with a smashed nose and took his photo. Two striking blondes in their late 40s were queuing up for their waffles; they each got dark chocolate toppings. One of them was movie-star-attractive (MSA); her hair was strange, cut short at the back and very straight but longer at the sides. She had that eyes-and-lips combo like Joan Collins. Her friend had an odd hair-style: from her temples on either side of her head, the hair was plastered flat and swept back like she’d just got off a speeding motorcycle. The two swathes rendez-voused at the back, formed a line. Neither woman wore a wedding ring. Were they lovers? A father dusted off his young son who’d managed to powder himself with icing all down the front of his coat; two girls in their late teens sat together close by and eavesdropped. The man with the smashed nose crossed the street and turned right and walked past my window. I wondered how many smashed noses there were in Bruxelles, in all of Belgium?...

Cloud of Think May Competition...

This competition is now over The first Cloud of Think May writing competition works like this: There are three categories that anyone can enter: The McCarthy (Fiction) Write a short story about a young guy trying to write a description of himself for a dating website he has just joined. The Dilworth (Non-Fiction) Write a personal essay inspired by your favourite movie, song, book or TV show. The Aftab (Poetry) Write a poem entitled, “Love, and other natural disasters.” Important: Each writer can enter as many categories as he choses but ONLY ONCE; put another way, you can’t enter the same category twice but you can enter more than one category. Important: All entries MUST be original work. Important: Please title your mail: “Cloud ofThink Writing Competition”. The prizes in each category are as follows: 1st Prize: €25 book token 2nd Prize: €15 book token For 1st, 2nd and 3rd years there is the following competition only for them (but they can also enter the May competition): Write an essay entitled: “What people don’t understand about me.” You can write it about yourself of a made-up person. The prize is a €15 book token. The closing date for all entries in each competition is Thursday May 9th 2013: no entries will be accepted after that date. All entries must be sent by e-mail to cloudofthink@gmail.com. Please title your mail: “Cloud of Think Writing Competition”. All 6 winning entries will be posted on the website as may any runners-up we liked a...