Now We Wait: Competition Runner-up by SwagDaggy May24


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Now We Wait: Competition Runner-up by SwagDaggy

“Okay, let’s do this”. Andrew pressed the 10 second timer on his sister’s DSLR then sprinted over to the other side of the room. He stood, clad in an ill-fitting tuxedo, with his back to a book case filled with leather-bound books. With hair perfectly coifed, he bared his teeth in a grin and looked at the lens of the camera with a hungry look in his eye. The camera beeped in a countdown. Six. Andrew’s jaw started quivering, his cheeks aching. Five. His eyelid started to twitch. Four. A drop of spit hung on the edge of his lip. Three. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. Two. Andrew’s weight bearing leg jerked. One. A fly bounced off the uncovered light bulb. With the flash of the camera, Andrew dropped his shoulders into a relaxed hunch and retrieved the camera. The photo was processing on the monitor, having transferred straight through the USB cable.

As the photo uploaded onto, Andrew retrieved the sheet of paper his mother gave him. He had tasked her with listing his best qualities. It was a painfully short list. As he stroked the beard that was confined to his neck, Andrew scrutinised the page in a vain attempt to come up with some more. Filling out the basic information, he reached the personal questions.

Yes, he was single.

No he didn’t smoke or take recreational drugs.

The most private thing he was willing to admit? He had a midget fetish.

Why should you message him? Because please.

He spends a lot of time thinking about? Fedoras.

He’s really good at? Turning invisible when nobody is watching.

Something he has never told anyone? When he was young, his father used to dress him up in his sister’s clothes and enter him into beauty pageants.

Andrew shifted in his seat and moved the mouse on to ‘Next’. The mouse became a spinning wheel, its colours hypnotic in their rotations. Andrew’s stomach became the wheel, churning with an hour old burrito. He watched the page turn white and then pink again as the it loaded, his anticipation building as his application was processed.
“Your profile will now be reviewed. If you are deemed attractive enough, you will receive an email requesting that you activate your account. Good luck.”

Andrew sat back in his chair and crossed his fingers in his lap. “Now we wait.”