Where are you most likely to see the misuse of that most abused and underrated little zygote, the apostrophe? Small to medium business enterprises are the most frequent offenders. I’m talking the type of people who have contempt for school because they’re in such a rush to get out into the world and earn a living! Entrepreneurs and apostrophes don’t get along very well. Chances are if you patronise the kind of place where a hard-working, enterprising, resourceful and goal-oriented slogger may be in charge, you’ll find a shy apostrophe or none at all in the literature somewhere. Sure, respect for the apostrophe and its many subtle nuances never got anyone rich: Richard Branson, Warren Buffet and Bono –  what care they of the little squiggly one? All of that is fair enough I suppose – except that there’s nothing difficult about how the apostrophe works: there are only two simple rules and one slightly awkward example of where it can cause a little confusion. But where you’ll also find problems is on striking placards and graffiti. I was recently in an unnamed European city and found something written on a wall (see picture). It read, “Our misery not your’s”. There’s no earthly reason why there would be a zygote in the word “Yours”. But a lot of offenders think that where there’s an S there should also be a zygote. That’s why you get words like “See’s” and “Say’s” and “Goe’s” and such. The whole S and the zygote dilemma annoys the s*** out of me: that’s why I’ll never be rich; that’s why I need to get a life; that’s why I know some people are deficient. The S case is due to people’s confusion about the ownership apostrophe which is one...

Dear Thelma We awoke to the sounds of Scratcher and The Shifter howling at the snow. Scott was already up and about and had found time to fashion a kind of bowl for trifle or punch from the abundant supply of ice and snow all around us. Browny busied himself making a fire upon which we would later toast onions and he’d toast his digits. Cooper though, was sleeping so deep that Scott declared him dead and ordered us to leave him where he lay and decamp. Were it not for The Shifter in a moment of canine canniness sticking his tongue into Cooper’s open mouth, forcing our companion into wakefulness, he might have died of sleep. As Scott later jocundly remarked, too much of a good thing can kill you. He was of course referring to sleep. Meaning of course, that we’d have left Cooper, with no food, and he would have starved. Thus is a roundabout way of saying the sleep would have killed him. When we got the joke, we guffawed and chuckled to ourselves, inhaling deeply from our pipes, which we had previously stuffed with what little hair was left over after Palmer’s preening and some stale tobacco Tawny Owl had kept for a rainy day behind his tonsils. The going became rough at about ten to eleven that morning by our reckoning. Time is hard to gauge out here, and pocket watches have to be wound. We had all, at one time or another, forgotten to wind our watches, and now we shared a range of times, from early morning to early afternoon. We devised a system to best judge the passage of the hours through a formula of long division and adding, taking the earliest time, adding it to the latest time, and dividing the result by the number in our party. Tawny felt the dogs...

“I remember the good ol’ days when you could get many things for incredible prices like computer games, sweets and of course novels! Now however the prices are crazy- games cost €70 and up! I wish I could go back in time,” George Hedge thought one day after coming home after a court case. He flicked on the TV and the very first ad caught his attention. “Do you wish you could travel back in time?” the ad blared before showing an old scientist in front of what looked like a giant clock with a small stage attached to it. “Hello! I am Rupert Smith, a famous scientist. Today I have created the first time machine ever. For a limited time it is free to all adult users and all you have to do is go to Megalopolis’s town hall and ask to use the time machine! I hope to see you last year!” The scientist winked and the ad switched to one for the National Lottery. George packed his stuff and drove to the town hall where he asked to use the time machine. The clock opened up into a small room with a keyboard and several screens showing what was happening in the different times. George typed in 1996 onto the keyboard and the time machine rose into the air, spun around at 1000 km an hour before landing on a large chunk of grass. The keyboard had gotten the date wrong and George was now in prehistoric times! A T-Rex walked past chasing a stegosaurus. George turned to make his way back to the time machine but it had run out of power. On the main screen it read, “WARNING! THIS MACHINE NEEDS TO BE FED WITH A DIAMOND!” “Oh great,...

  John le Carré’s masterpiece, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, follows George Smiley, of the Circus (secret service), on his attempts to find the Soviet mole in the Agency. Jim Prideaux is sent to Czechoslovakia on a mission but ends up shot, forcing Smiley and his boss, Control, into retirement, where Control subsequently dies. Ricki Marr, through a love affair with the wife of a Soviet intelligence officer, finds out there is a mole in the Circus. Marr passes it on to Guillam, who passes it on to Lacon, who informs Smiley. Smiley and Guillam investigate without the knowledge of Percy Alleine, head of the Circus, or Bill Haydon, Toby Esterhase and Roy Bland. Prideaux, who survives his ordeal in Czechosovakia, informs Smiley that the presence of a mole was already known and Operation Testify was just a bid to learn his identity. Meanwhile Alleine has become head of the Circus and apparently has been sending the Soviets false information in return for important intelligence from a source known as “Merlin.” However, Alleine has been receiving largely false information in exchange for important intelligence. After pressure from Smiley, Esterhase admits his role in “Merlin” and reveals where the mole and his Soviet handler meet. Tarr goes to Paris and messages Alleine, who then ends up getting the mole to go to a meeting with his handler in the safe house. Tinker Tailor is a brilliantly written book, dealing with (would you believe in a spy novel) the theme of loneliness very well. The film adaptation from 2011, starring Gary Oldman, Colin Firth and John Hurt amongst other brilliant actors, compliments the book beautifully, even if there is the odd change in the plot here and there. It’s still better than the Fleming espionage novels (you know the...

McDonnell Douglas was a major aircraft manufacturer formed by the merger of McDonnell and Douglas. Boeing purchased McDonnell Douglas in the 90s. Boeing were based in Seattle. Another famous product of Seattle is Nirvana. Nirvana were a rock group who were headed by Kurt Cobain. Cobain was married to actress/singer Courtney Love. Love appeared in the movie Trapped, so too did Dakota Fanning. Fanning also appeared in Charlotte’s Web, a film that featured a pig. Another pig-related film is Babe. Babe also had one of the worst sequels in a long time, though not half as bad as some other films. Another film considered by many to be poorer than its predecessor is Quantum of Solace.This film starred Daniel Craig in his second outing as James Bond. Craig has also appeared in Munich. Another actor to appear in this film is Geoffrey Rush. Rush won the Best Actor Oscar in 1996 for his role in Shine and was nominated for the Best Supporting Actor in The King’s Speech. The late Heath Ledger did it the opposite way:  he won the Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Dark Knight, posthumously, and was nominated for the Best Actor award for his role in Brokeback Mountain. He also appeared alongside Mel Gibson in Roland Emmerich’s The Patriot. Emmerich is from Stuttgart, the sister city to St Louis. In a suburb of this city was the headquarters to the aircraft manufacturer McDonnell...